


Holding Hands

by orphan_account



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: First Time, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Twincest, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-07-08
Updated: 2012-07-13
Packaged: 2017-11-09 10:44:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/454580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill and Tom have spent their whole lives with their hands clasped tightly together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Age 5

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve just slightly twisted the timeline in some places but I don’t think it’s all that noticeable it’s just the way it fit when I tried to write it if notice it and your inner perfectionist is screaming about it, I’m sorry I hope you can overlook it.
> 
> Also I started this when I was about 16, forgive the earlier chapters.

School was the most exciting thing to happen to Bill so far in his young life he and Tomi were so looking forward to it. They couldn’t wait to confuse people, to play tricks and have fun. He loved looking just like his brother, despite the fact that he would change his mind about the matter in a couple of years, but for now having a solid reflection was the best thing in the world. 

Sometimes when snuggled up with his mirror image, he pondered which one was the refection and which was the original, Bill decided once that he was the reflection because he was younger, that meant that Tom was the original, especially as nothing was as cool as his brother. Ten minutes made all the difference in the world to him. Bill didn’t think he was much like Tom, but even if he wasn’t quite as good he was happy to be even the poorest imitation of something so cool. No-one else had a big brother as great as his Tomi. Of that he was sure.

This night the little twins were excitedly waiting for school to begin. They sat inside Bill’s duvet cover like it was a tent built just for the two of them, while they talked of the new things they were expecting to come from school.

Bill was hoping to make lots of new friends. Tom knew he would because he was the kind of person everyone liked; you couldn’t get away from it. (Personally Tom was a little worried about Bill making lots of new friends because it would mean Bill would have to share his time, and Tom wasn’t sure that he’d be able to make friends as well as he knew Bill would.) 

Tomi was eager to learn how to read better, he loved books and stories, but he couldn’t read much yet, he always was trying to read more than he should be able to at his age, his mummy said it was because he was a clever little boy, the real reason was because the books he was supposed to read weren’t very interesting, they were all about some little dog called Skip and a silly blonde kid called Kipper.

He wanted to be able to read the books their mummy read the big ones with dragons and knights and princesses. (Although as any young child he pulled horrible faces whenever it got to the kissy bits while inwardly being highly fascinated) and he loved to learn what their mother had to teach them too. As far as he could see school was going to be a great thing. It was almost midnight before they fell asleep with dreams of the day to come in their heads.

The next morning the boys both were woken up at 6:15 both quite sleepy but both not caring as they shuffled around getting ready for the new day.

When they were taken to school they were both given large cones full of sweets and school supplies grinning happily as their mother took a picture of the cute pair. They tried to find some way of balancing the large cones in their arms before awkwardly reaching for each other’s hands and walked into their new class.

There were desks of other little children everywhere. Bill gave his best and biggest grin to Tom before finding two desks together. After a few minutes the teacher at the front stood up to greet the class.

She was a pleasant looking woman with a wide smile that showed lots of white teeth. She had a powdery look about her as if someone had lightly dusted her smooth skin with talc. It gave the impression of a loving grandmother who’d been taken back in time until she was about 35 years younger. The twins automatically loved her, she was exactly what they’d imagined a teacher should be like, but it was later on that they realised that school wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

After a morning of the teacher talking about what school was going to be like and they things they would learn in this coming year, it was story time and after that was a break where they learned that children are the cruellest things on the planet.

Bill and Tom quickly found a little sunny spot in the play ground in which to sit holding hands and discussing the events of the day, all of a sudden Bill felt a sharp pain on his forehead. Then again, quickly realising that it was a pebble that had been thrown at him, looking towards the direction that the offending pebble came from he saw a small gaggle of brutish boys. Tom, Always eager to protect his ‘little’ brother quickly (but politely) called out to the group. “Be careful where you throw stones; you’re hitting us!”

This led to a further shower of pebbles aimed at the boys.

“Why are you doing that?”

“Because you’re holding hands, and only boys and girls are allowed to hold hands. Mummy says nasty fags like the vermin boy next door burn in hell.” Came the garbled explanation from the leader of the thugs; a child who could have been no more than eight years old. Had Bill and Tom met a similar child when they were adults they would have felt the deep pain of pity and remorse for the child so obviously mistreated, but as it was Bill and Tom being little children were more concerned about the solid objects that were being thrown in their direction.

Now Bill being a very young child didn’t understand a great number of these words spoken to him, in fact he doubted that the boys who spoke them understood them either, but he did understand that people were throwing stones at him, and it became clearer that it was because him and Tomi were holding hands. Rather than let go, which in all honesty didn’t occur to him at the time, they climbed the tree together to hide from the repeated attacks until the bell rang in the end of lunch.

Back inside the twins tried to enjoy their day again as they had before, after all the teacher was still lovely, and they were still learning to read and write and they got to draw pictures and all sorts of things! But the dampener had been fully put on their day. Especially when Tom noticed that there was a little red mark just above Bill’s left eye where a particularly sharp stone had caught his forehead.

Tom wanted to fuss over it, but Bill insisted that he was fine. After all his twin was there and Tom made everything better. The elder twin still placed a soft ‘make-it-better’ kiss to the little mark anyway and promised to protect him better next time.

When they got home at the end of the day they asked their mummy about some of the words that the boy said to them as well as Bill gushing over how brave Tomi had been. She didn’t tell them what they meant but she did phone the school about the incident. The next day they were picked on again for being tattle-tales.

Bill and Tom never much liked school after that.

Tom, in the spirit of wanting to protect Bill, suggested that maybe they should just hold hands on the walk home instead of at play time.

Bill just smiled and held on tighter.


	2. Age 7

Their mum talked about love sometimes. She liked to talk about love even more whenever Gordon had just visited. You knew when she was about to talk about it because her eyes went a little glossy and she sighed happily before sinking into her soft armchair. She had the answer to everything when it came to love, and Bill loved to ask questions. He felt he understood a little of love now too, he loved his mummy and he loved his cat but most of all he loved Tom. Then again, that came as no surprise to anyone.

One day when he came home from school he saw his next-door-neighbour Tizzy standing with a boy. They were standing close and Bill did not understand what was going on. He stared as he walked in through the gate and peeked over the fence to where the two were sat.

It looked like he bit her lip. Bill didn’t think that was very nice, he was going to tell him to stop being mean to Tizzy because Bill liked her, she was a nice girl from the big school in the next town and sometime she’d help him with homework if Tomi didn’t understand it too. 

But he was too scared to ask him to go away. He was much bigger than Bill and if Bill went over there he might bite his lip too. He didn’t want that. That looked painful. It was bad enough when he accidentally bit his tongue or the inside of his cheek, and things were always worse when other people did them; like not being able to tickle yourself.

He knew what to do though, if anything bad happened then you tell mummy, because that’s what mummies are for. She could tell the mean boy to stop hurting Tizzy. Then everything would be better.

Bill ran into the house as fast as his little legs could carry him flinging himself bodily at the door which he knew would be open until the twins had gotten home from school.

“Mummy!” he cried as he ran into the hallway.

“I’m in the kitchen” came the reply, “is everything alright sweetie?”

“There’s a bad boy outside you have to tell him to go away. He’s biting Tizzy’s face!”  
Simone was incredulous; she took a brief peek out of the window before breaking into a smile.

“It’s ok Bill they’re just kissing”

“No they’re not I saw them! He bit her! You don’t bite people when you kiss them and he’s still doing it!” said Bill climbing on a chair to look out of the window. “You don’t kiss me and Tomi like that!”

Simone laughed warmly. “It’s a different type of kissing. It’s a special kind of kissing. When two people love each other sometimes they’ll be boyfriend and girlfriend, and if they are they might kiss like that.”

“What’s boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“Two people who are in a special kind of love.” stated Simone in a way she hoped her little boy would understand.

“And everything is ok, you say?” said Bill a small confused and worried pout gracing his young face.

“Yes, Bill, everything is ok.”

“Ok then!” chirped Bill, brightening up instantly. 

Even to this day Bill thought like this he lived in a world of clear-cut scenarios; something was either right or wrong in his mind. If it was right then everything was right and he’d bounce around being his normal happy self, probably eating something sugary if he could. If it was wrong then everything was wrong and he would retreat to his and Tom’s room to hide under the duvet until everything was right again, that usually meant that Tom had said everything was alright, because Tom was his big brother and whatever he said must be true.

Later that afternoon, when Tom came home from playing football, Bill was raring to tell him all he’s seen and learned that day.

“No way!” Tom’s jaw looked as if it might detach soon his eyes wide with shock.

“Yuh-huh!” said Bill swinging his legs on the edge of the bed grinning and nodding his head enthusiastically. “And that’s not all, mummy said that they were boyfriends and girlfriends!”

“Woah!” exclaimed Tom not quite willing to believe what his brother was telling him. Tom quickly glanced around their little bedroom before leaning closer to his brother.

“Bill,” he whispered in a conspiring voice “what’s a girlfriends?”

Bill shifted his eye’s around quickly too, as if the teddy’s might hear them, before leaning on one hand towards Tomi’s ear using the other hand to shield what he was saying, while Tom sat and waited for the secret to be revealed “Mummy said it’s when two people share a special kind of love.” 

Tom looked a little disappointed as he sat bolt upright looking at Bill and talking normally again.

“Is that it?” he asked

“I guess so, that’s all that mummy said.”

“But that means you’re my girlfriends.”

“Why?” said Bill highly confused. He certainly didn’t kiss Tomi like that and no-one had ever said that he and Bill were girlfriends and boyfriends before.

“Yeah, we must be; ‘cause I love you yeah, because you’re my twin, and mummy said before that that was a special kind of love cause not everyone has a twin.”

Bill nodded in agreement; he felt so sad that day when he realised not everyone had a twin. It must be really lonely if you didn’t have a twin. Who was it that you snuggled when you have a nightmare? Who was it you shared your toys with? The world was really unfair.

“Yeah and there is just two of us that are twins, and so we have to be boyfriends and girlfriends.” finished Tom folding his arms wisely.

“Oh yeah. But who is who?”

“Who is what?”

“Who is boyfriends and who is girlfriends?” said Bill.

“Err, I don’t know how about we throw a coin tails your boyfriends heads I’m boyfriends.” said Tom, pulling a shiny fifty Pfennig piece from his pocket.

“Wow where did you get that!” said Bill admiring the fortune in his brother’s hands.

“It was on the street!” Tom said excitedly.

“Shouldn’t we hand it to the police?” another worried pout adorning Bill’s ever worried lips. 

“That’s a lot of money; someone might be looking for it.”

Tom glanced down at the coin in his hand, “That’s true.” he said looking back at his brother.

“Don’t throw it Tomi, if you do you might lose it. Put it back in your pocket I’ll get something else.” Advised Bill, scrambling off the bed to go and get a Pfennig from the draw he kept his money jar in.

“Here we go.” Bill sat back down on the bed “So if it’s head’s I’m boyfriends?”

“Yep”

Bill threw the coin into the air and watched it roll on the floor, “It’s tails Tomi.”

“So your girlfriends and I’m boyfriends”

“Ok!” chirped Bill brightly then paused. “No wait.”

“What?”

“Does that mean I have to kiss you now?” said Bill grimacing. Kissing like that didn’t look very nice to him; in fact it looked very messy.

A similar expression appeared on tom’s face. “No we don’t,” he insisted. He softened his voice to a low mutter “We could maybe just hold hands more.” he said hopefully a blush tinting his cheeks. 

An amused smile flitted across Simone’s soft face as she listened outside the tiny bedroom. Her little boys were so sweet, she was almost sad that she’d have to tell them that girlfriends and boyfriends were different things to the love between brothers. She hated to shatter their fragile idea of adult relationship, even though she knew she would have to eventually despite their overwhelming sweetness. Maybe she could let them play house for an hour or two.

To this day Bill clearly remembers walking down the stairs at tea time hand in hand with Tom announcing that he was now Tomi’s girlfriend, only that they wouldn’t be doing that kissing thing ‘‘cause that was icky’ upon the proclamation of which Simone could no longer keep a straight face and burst out laughing.

“What’s funny Mama?” enquired Tom who until that moment had remained silent. Simone stifled her giggles quickly when she saw the look on her little boy’s faces.

“Oh sweetie, brothers can’t be boyfriend and girlfriend. That’s for people who aren’t in the same family.”

Tears quickly sprung from the eyes of the relentlessly emotionally unbalanced bill.

“But, but you said. You said that girlfriends and boyfriends are two people that love each other.”

It had taken over an hour to explain a little of the adult world to the tiny twins but they were sent to bed no longer forlorn.

They still laugh about Bill being Tom’s girlfriend sometimes. Tom always laughed hardest because he knew without a shadow of a doubt that Bill definitely was not a girl, despite the media’s evidence to the contrary. If Tom was honest with himself, (which wasn’t a difficult task when it came to Bill) no matter how sexy he thought curvy girls were, he wouldn’t have it any other way. His brother outshone all of them.

And kissing Bill definitely wasn’t icky anymore.


End file.
